Love rats

I hear Fi Glover this morning talking about the John Terry affair. She begins by saying something about the hurt and pain for the women (plural) involved.

There are four people as far as I know. Let's call them John, Toni, Vanessa and Wayne. According to the Glover doctrine the scene in the confession booth would go as follows.:


John: Forgive me, father, for I have sinned. Despite being married to Toni, I caused her hurt and pain by having an affair with Vanessa, who has also suffered hurt and pain because I had an affair with her and now she is in the public eye and this is liable to do immense damage to her career as a lingerie model. I feel no hurt and pain because I am the cause of hurt and pain for them both.

Toni: Forgive them, if you must, father, for they have sinned. I feel the hurt and pain that is caused by John on account of his affair with Vanessa, who, poor thing, is also feeling hurt and pain because she had an affair with John. If only Wayne had not given Vanessa hurt and pain to start with she would not have become the innocent instrument of the hurt and pain caused by John. Wayne, therefore, deserved all that was coming to him

Vanessa: Forgive neither of them, father, for they have sinned most grievously. I feel hurt and pain because I am in the public eye because of my affair with John, but also because Wayne thinks he owns me thereby causing me more hurt and pain by preventing me having affairs with people like John who made me have an affair with him, thereby causing me yet more hurt and pain. I myself have caused no hurt and pain.

Wayne: Forgive me, father, for I am the worst of sinners. I caused Toni hurt and pain because my girlfriend, Vanessa, who is, naturally enough, associated with me, had an affair with John. I must have caused hurt and pain to Vanessa too otherwise she wouldn't have had an affair with John. I myself feel no hurt and pain because it's what I deserve, and who, after all feels any sympathy for a cuckold?


Yes. That's how it would be. It's the women that get all the hurt and pain. Let's hope that swine, Wayne Bridge, breaks his leg in the next match.