in memoriam Mangalesh Dabral 1948-2020
The death of poets
is no worse than of others.
All the same I grieve
for those who, like me,
labour at the very same
minor precisions,
or find themselves borne
on this or that gust of wind
that blows through their words
and sends them flying.
Talking of 'minor precisions' the first draft said 'fine precisions' which is ironic since, following the syllabic pattern, it is precisely that line that is one syllable short. Why should that matter? Hardly at all except that adopting a particular form is a kind of vow to stay with it, a personal thing between you and your promise, one that a reader is unlikely to notice. So 'fine precisions' became 'minor precisions'. That kept the high 'i' sound but it lost the assonance with the following 'find'. Then I remembered that when I wrote this, in bed as last thing, the phrase that flitted by me was 'fine particulars' which would have fitted the syllable count precisely. So I could change it to that now but I have used that phrase before in a poem, having picked it up, unconsciously at the time, from the American poet Anthony Hecht. The issue seems, well, 'minor' to the reader, but it is nevertheless a matter of 'fine' judgment to the poet. I still can't quite make up my mind.
But then this is 'precisely' what poets deal with, sometimes slowly and thoughtfully, sometimes fast and instinctively. I am generally of the second disposition at the time of writing. Not necessarily in redrafting. I think Mangalesh would understand and sympathise with such quibbles. The quibble is dedicated to the living self I met in person and to the living ghost of his poems.
1 comment:
Thank you and thank you
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