I had to pick this up from georgiasam, who is well worth looking up and reading in his late-imperial sourness (and some nice photos). While enplaned and in perusal of Harper's he comes across this..
...audacious bid for the post of constable in McCreary county, Kentucky:
‘So Bill Roberts was running for constable and Harry Vanover was his opponent, and Bill got to speak first. He said, “Ya’ll know me. You know I ain’t much. You know I ain’t never been much. You know I don’t ever want to be much. And if you don’t want much for constable, vote for me. If you want less, vote for Harry.”’
This is clearly so much the best electoral pitch I am astonished it has not occurred to Boris. I am confident it will.