In one of the strangest twists of any football story, Rooney has re-signed for Manchester United.
Was it the forty masked men, like the thieves in the story of Ali Baba, that terrified him? Did Coleen tell him off? His mum? Was it all a ploy to get the Glazers to release more money?
Or did he realise he had been misguided by his agent, one Paul Stretford, and so decide to break his chains and leap back into the cage?
In any case he will have lost almost all the affection in which he had been held. If he was being led on by Stretford he should sack the agent and find a new one. Time, I think, for a better and proper Stretford End.