Wednesday, 28 September 2011

Frivolity, fribble and procrastination: death by clerihew 2

This time film directors are the prey and it is developing into a full tag match with Andy 'Jacknife' Jackson, Ian 'The Leeds Drubber' Duhig, Adam 'The Horror!, The Horror!' Horovitz and Katy 'the Baroque' Evans-Bush. There's been nothing like it since Giant Haystacks and Big Daddy took on Kendo Nagasaki and The Mummy!

Actually if I throw in myself (a complicated wrestling throw but perfectly possible with practice) not to forget other notables it is more like a 'Lumberjack' bout, in which there are a lot of wrestlers inside the ring and a lot of others prowling outside. The wrestlers inside throw each other out, the wrestlers outside throw them back in.

I should add that we had a guest appearance by Salman Rushdie yesterday with a biting clerihew on Gunter Grass, so the stakes are high. The contributions at the time of selecting these highlights are 121 and rising. Amazing what the human spirit will do under duress.

This was the kick off:

David Lynch
would make films at a pinch.
but, once started, he'd blaze ahead
with blockbusters like Eraserhead.

After that it was mayhem, so a selection of throws and falls. We begin with certain classic moves:


John Cassavetes
Responded to Hollywood's entreaties
and directed movies till it hurt. He
made a few Dozen, only one of which was Dirty.

Wim Wenders
simply adored Eastenders:
high art was fine, he said, but soaps were higher,
as is perfectly obvious from Wings of Desire.

Frederico Fellini
Was fond of the old Martini
When asked what his limit was, for a laugh.
He replied "Eight and a half"

Lars von Trier
was grinning from ear to ear.
From Dogme to Dogville in one bound!
He was one dogged sneaky hound!

Oliver Stone
- I guess we should have known
the plot is always the same.
Carnage. The Government's to blame.

Ernst Lubitsch
exclaimed 'You bitch!'
I'll never vork mit you again, Greta!'
And then he ate her!

Then there was a dip into Russ Meyer territory before recovering propriety and Andy tagging in Ian Duhig

Duhig (ploy to go utterly contemporary)
Mike Leigh
Is likely
To do better than 'Happy-Go-Lucky'
Which was yucky.

Self counters (defensive move)
Clint Eastwood
even when deceased would
insist he
be allowed to Play Misty.

Duhig ripostes (obscure director ploy)
Nicolas Winding Refn
Made the film I just watched, which was effin'
Marvellous: called 'Pusher II'
I recommend it to you.

Tag / Lumberjack continues tomorrow

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